Thinking...Thinking...Thinking

Okay so sorry its been such a long time since my last post, I have been in the city for the last couple days which tends to drain a little bit. We picked up Erica from the airport, I guess 3 days ago, and showed her the city and picked up everything that she needed. We went to the Russian market which is basically just a big market geared towards tourist. I am excited because I found loads of things to bring home to you all. Erica is a photographer from NY, she takes fantastic pics, and I am excited to see how she documents the orphanage. We have been brainstorming several things and one that I most excited about is this book project. Were she would take the photos of the kids, their hands and feet, in front of different swatches of fabric. Then later when she returns home we would collaborate, meaning Erica, myself, and the Carsons. To partner each child's pic with their story! This makes me excited. Oh and I will try to add a link to her blog, because she posts crazy cool pics of Cambodia all the time. Ummm...things are good, I know all the kids names, and for the most part beginning to get a good feel for personality. Upon my return form the city, I realized something, I wanted to be home at the orphanage. I was so excited to be home and see Sam and Joe and all the others. Its crazy how comfortable and attached to this place I have already become. The children! The children! They are just such wonderful kids! I want to spend as much time as possible with them. So here is somethings the Lord has been revealing:

1. Wisdom, the pursuit of wisdom, and all that this means. This is very important to the Lord, for some reason or another He is bringing this up over and over again. Every bible study, sermon, and biblical conversation has revolved around this subject. Also in my studies I have found that wisdom is often depicted as female, referring to wisdom as a "she." This is very interesting to me and if you have any thoughts please shoot them my way. I will continue to study and get back to you with my findings.

2. Jealously, this is what I really want to discuss. So the Lord himself, personally communicated to me, in a beautiful way, His jealously for me. The moment that He revealed His jealously my life changed. This is a very long story and if you are interested, let me know, and I will elaborate. However, for the purposes of this blog, the Lord is a jealous God!! Examples:

For the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God!"
Duet 4:24

For you shall worship no other God, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a Jealous God
Exodus 32:14

For jealously is a husbands fury: Therefor he will not spare in the day of vengeance. He will accept no recompense, Nor will he appeased though you give many gifts
Proverbs 6:34

Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm.
For love is as strong as death,
its jealousy^c]">[c] as enduring as the grave.^d]">[d]
Love flashes like fire,
the brightest kind of flame.
⁷ Many waters cannot quench love,
nor can rivers drown it.
If a man tried to buy love
with all his wealth,
his offer would be utterly scorned.
Solomon 8

Allow this to become a part of how your picture our Lord, for its very much a part of His character. Allow yourself to see His jealous face! If this is hard to place let me paint you this picture. A married couple, that love love love each other, like think of the happiest newly wed couple you know. Then in all their marriage bless, after both sides have made sacrifice to be together, after the husband(Jesus) gave everything to bring His bride home. Picture this type of love! How would this couple act around each other, how would they respond to each other. I picture words like, "I will give you everything," "You are mine, I am yours, I am for you forever!" "You are the reason that I rise in the morning, you are the reason that life matters." So then allow this picture to come into a view. This wife, that this husband has given everything for, sleeps with another man. Leaves The One that loves her most for a messy fling. Imagine this husband, imagine His hurt, His anger. If you are a man reading this blog, imagine the girl you love most in the world and then imagine her betraying you for another. The hurt is crushing. Not only is there hurt but a wealth of other emotions. Holy Anger! You loved her first and most. She is yours and you want her back. Then comes Jealousy, the emotion that washes over when you see her with another man. Jealousy can wreck a man, bring him to his knees, pull him apart piece by piece. For Jealousy implies that you still love her, that you still want her back, that your pursuit for her has not ended. In the Greek bible Jealous and Zealous come from the same word. Our Jealous Father is still in Zealous pursuit. When I see Jealousy depicted in the face of Jesus, I see both Lion and Lamb! I see a lion, a huge lion, capable from crushing everything, muscles rippling, jaw tight, with complete fury in His eyes, fury in His fiery green eyes. Ready to pounce, ready to fight for what He wants, ready to take back. Then I see lamb, lamb laid at the slaughter. A wounded, dying lamb, bleeding form the side. This blood shouts Jealous, wounded Jealousy, the lambs eyes say look what I did for you. Look how I loved you, and you left me! How could you leave love offered like this. I see both as key aspects of the Lords jealous love. Ask Him to reveal to you His jealousy, ask for more of Him and he will always answer, ask for more of Him in vision and in dream.

Okay...so I am suppose to replicate the Lords character through out my life. So after receiving the revelation of His jealousy, I thought how do I show this to the world. How do I allow my spirit to show case this beautiful love to the world. For the bible specific says, "Love is not Jealous." So I thought and thought, and this is what the Lord provided, via a timely email from Miss Laura K! Quote from Laura K:

"We are ambassadors and He is making His appeal to the world through us. We should be jealous for the honor of His name and speak truth into lies that do not bear His name. So He can have all the Glory!"

So basically we should not be jealous towards others but jealous for His names sake. We should have eyes that burn with fury when our husband is defamed. When are husband is spoken about in lies and deception. When our husband, in all His handsome valor, is reduced to something small and earthly. We should be hurt, angry, jealous, when a member of His bride leaves Him. When He is not given the glory that is due. We should be Jealous for Him and Him alone. Always wanting more of him personally and also begging the world to come into His love. Our God should become more and more real to us, as we see His face we come into a place of Jealous love, holy commitment, eternal partnership. I beg that you would come to know our King in this way, come to know our handsome prince of peace, that begs, pleads, intercedes for you at the fathers right hand. Search out His Jealous heart and allow this revelation of His character to completely change who you are. Allow His love to wash over you, Beloved. His wants to be more to you today, allow Him to be more of whatever you need. Be Jealous for His Glory!
(At a Temple, were children come and worship this graven image. This man made God!)