Things are going very well. I am teaching English and feel offically comfortable in that environment. I giggle a little to myself when the kids, staff, community class, ask me grammer or spelling questions. I giggle because if any of you have received a text, email, or face book message you must know that I spell like a 4 year-old. Sometimes it can be impossible to read:) So its a nice change to be the best speller in the room. I have to be intentional about my spelling here considering Tong a boy in my class will spot an error quick, considering I am teaching them the foundations for English I don't really want to screw it up. Khmer class is going well, the kids are beginning to help which is fantastic. However, there is not a whole lot of grace for my mistakes, most of my efforts erupt in laughter-which is good it lowers the pride:) I have become very excited about reaching the community, the children specifically, I hope to began serious work on making relationships and expanding the youth program at the school. They all want to learn English, the children will come to any event in order to better there English. I hope to use my western charm to begin to explain the gospel:) Please continue to pray that the language will come naturally that I will be given the grace to practice and engage. I know the Lord can work through the language barrier, He is very good at expressing love in some many different ways. However, I want to communicate the gospel, I want to show I have the good news! I want to free you from your idol worship and introduce you to a God that breaths, that pants, that's coming back for His bride. I want to speak of the wedding day! The Lord wants to use us in amazing ways, He wants to use us like the great fathers of the faith. Everything in the bible is TRUE, everything in the bible is TRUE for YOU! Everything in the bible is TRUE for YOU right NOW! What if we read the word of God like this. What if we read, "Go and do greater things than me," and we took in literally, we took it as a promise.
I challenge you today to look at any statement the Lord makes, radical as it may seem, and apply it! Test it out! For example the bible says repeatably "ask and you shall receive." This was a hard revelation for me to grasp. So wait, you can respond to me? I can move your heart? You heart is to give me good gifts? You want to answer every cry of my heart? You want to be my good father who showers blessing on those who believe? Yes! Yes! and Yes! The Lord answers prayers and He wants to have us pray big, small, specifically, broad, globally, personally, for others. He longs for us to ask! I have been asking for several months now and He has been showering,"Yes, of course daughter why would I not give that to you, I love you, here you go." Now important point our King has a fatherly love, agape love, He loves us in a way that is best for us. So sometimes He says no, or not now, or never. He responds this way because He can see the path ahead, He can see the motive of the heart, He can see the outcome. So if you pray for something big, specific, and life altering, you pray with trust and faith, you stick your neck out and nothing happens. That must mean that God isn't real and doesn't listen! It simply must! NO, silly it means He has a better plan, He loved that you asked but He has something else in mind. Don't ask for something to prove His character, because I promise He will not respond to this type of testing. However, ask out of love, ask of hope, ask out of desperation because you believe that Jesus is your only option. Ask because you know His character already! This revelation changed my life so ponder it for awhile. Oh and another question: Is God big enough? Is He big enough to save me, love me, heal me, reach me, reach my Mom, reach my boyfriend, change my life, get an A on my exam, learn a language, choose my husband, mend my broken spirit, take away anger, take away jealousy, fight for me, understand me, hear my prayers, etc etc etc.....I promise, I promise, the bible promises, and He promises, YES! You can't even imagine how Big I Am! I hold the world in the palm of my hand! Shoot child, your going to pee your pants when you step into my glory!
So that was my soap box, I had no intention of writing about that so maybe it was from the spirit specifically for you? ummmm....what to talk about. If you don't have a quite time-get one! Now, its the most important thing you can do. The Lord bathes me in living water every time I walk with Him in the secret. I have found in Him a hiding place, and this is needed in such a dark dark world. The Lord is unearthing a lot of sin, lies, fleshly things in me. This is always an ugly process but a life altering one. I am full of pride! I am so prideful in my motives its disgusting! Pride is the opposite of God, I believe pride is the worst of all sins, if you can label one. Pride wounds others, pride leads us to believe that we are superior to God, pride always tell us to choose self, prides eliminates true relationship with God and man, pride defeats love. So now I have been doing my best to embrace situations where I look foolish, it is an opportunity to lower the pride. The spirit encourages me to delight when others don't like me, to delight when others cheat me, when others ignore me, to delight when I seem to be the only one expelling love. I delight because this type of relationship denies flesh, this type of sacrificial relationship can only happen when one is directly connected to the vine. This type of relationship looks like Jesus. So I think I shall try to approach others with a humanlity that says, I will be myself around you regardless, I will be transparent, I will take the risk that you won't respond like I want, I will love you regardless of what you do to me. I will do this because it sets me free! I desire Freedom! Also because it allows you to see that I am human, and I can invite you into a similar humble honesty about yourself. This I know will never be perfect, this will be a lifetime pursuit, however He is faithful to finish His work:)
To catch you up on less serious things. I like it here! I like my work and see it worthy of all of my time. I am getting the kids and they are getting me. I try to hug them always, I loved to be hugged and find this the best way to convey love when we can't speak. I try to avoid frontal hugs with the little boys that hit me at about chest level, for obvious reasons of course:) I taught the kids lap tag the other night, so so so funny. Little On(girls name) was such a fierce competitor, she took the big boys with such a fight. I love them all, I love them so very much, they are such good and loving children. I want all the things a mother wants for their children. I want to see them grow big, choose wives, pursue dreams. I want good good things for them. I want them to always stay as they are, lovers of Jesus, beacons of light into this world. I want to see the little girls in fancy khmer dresses headed for their engagement ceremony. I want to see them grow into their beauty. I want to see how they are going to alter the darkness that is Cambodia. I want to see their tiny hands and feet grow big, blessed are the feet that bring the good news. Oh I love them so much!
Okay so I write a lot, praise you for the endurance to make it to the end! I pray for you all constantly even though we are seas apart. I know that I know that I know that the Lord is moving in lives regardless of location. I know that He is taking care of all of your needs that I can't provide in this season. I know that He is expanding hearts to His love, expanding hearts to his commission. I pray that you would walk more intimately with Him daily. Ask him for more of Him, this question He will always grant with a YES! I love you all deeply and eternally! Thank you everyone who made this happen, you answered the call of the Lord, praise Him!
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